Momology 101

Privacy or Protection?

Can we protect our children and still give them the privacy they want? Notice I did not say need. Oh, sure we all prefer to have some privacy, but is it needed? Is it a right?

It astounds me when a parent has to be told to be aware of what their child is doing, who they are friends with, and where they go. That there is any doubt as to whether or not it's right to go into a child's room and "snoop".

My boys are all too young to have their own computers or cell phones. But when they do have those things, hubby and I will know exactly what web pages they've gone to, what text messages they're getting, and by golly who they're chatting with on both devices. If they have a problem with this, they can hand over the computer and cell phone.

Do I sound strict? I guess I am in some ways. My goal is to keep an open line of communication so there isn't an issue to begin with. I'm not naive, I know there will be some secrets. But I hope that when it comes to the big stuff, they'll come to me because they know they can.

It's my job as a mom to protect my children. From strangers and from themselves until they are old enough to protect themselves. I won't be doing my job if I don't check up on them. Isn't it our role to guide our children? To teach them what is right and wrong?

I ask you, how can we teach and protect if we are ignorant as to what our children are doing?

Momology 101

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.
~Edgar W. Howe


Summer break started today.

My boys are thrilled.

I am too.

Really.

When my boys get along it's awesome. If they would just get along for extended periods of time it would be heaven.

Our summer will be filled with pool hopping, reading, school work (that's right, we do school work in the summer), movies, and museums.

It's going to be a wonderful summer.

How long is summer break? ;)

Momology 101

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
~Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957

This is so true.

I don't even want to know how many times I've ended an argument with one of my kids with 'because I said so'. Or my favorite...'you're not the boss of me'. *hangs head shamefully*

There's just something about arguing with someone I can't reason with that brings out the five-year-old in me. I get the urge to stick my tongue out at them and then run away.

I don't.

Not usually, anyway. ;)

Momology 101

Every newborn should come with an instruction manual.

Babies. A woman spends a full nine months growing one. Her body expands as the months go by, getting larger than she ever thought her body could get.

At first we're so excited just to be pregnant we don't even mind putting on a few pounds. In fact, we relish stepping on the doctor's scale and seeing the number go up because that means the baby is growing. Getting bigger equals getting closer to being here. When our baby bump finally emerges, the first thing we do is go put on maternity clothes. Women don't mind being larger as long as people know it's because they're pregnant. Not because they've just inhaled a dozen Krispy Kreams. There's a difference, you know.

Yes indeed. Life is good. The baby is growing, our appetite is growing, our bodies are growing.

Somewhere around the end of the seventh month, things start to get irritating. We can no longer see our feet, the maternity clothes we were so eager to get into now look like a tent, and if one more person touches our stomach without asking, they're going to end up walking funny. Our doctors tell us to get plenty of rest, and we would, if we could just get comfortable. Sleeping...you try to sleep with a watermelon attached to the front of your body and see how much rest you get.

Around the eighth month our attitude starts to look up. We're getting so close we can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We get parties thrown for us. People are nicer to us. Our hubbies are extra attentive, even when we don't want them to be. We've given up on fighting the stretchmarks, realizing it's all worth it.

We start birthing classes and finally get a good look at what we're in for. No one told us our bodies were going to do that. No one mentioned we would end up with stitches in a very sensitive place. Ouch! We study every book we can get our hands on to find out about labor. We scour every possible source of information to decide on a name.

For me labor wasn't that bad. I went into the hospital fully dilated and a few hours later, we were done. I'm not going to say it was easy. Any woman who's been through labor would just laugh. Labor is called labor for a reason. It's work. Hard work. Our body does most of it on it's own, whether we want it to or not.

Our first son was this tiny, perfect being, as most babies are. He had ten perfect little fingers and ten perfect little toes. Yes, I counted them. He never cried. *sigh* He was just perfect.

The first night at home with him, he started crying as soon as it got dark. Nothing we did would sooth him. I think we both started crying with him. We hadn't even had him home for three hours and we had broken him. No one at the hospital had bothered to tell us that our perfect bundle of joy had colic. Honestly, I didn't even know what colic was.

Most women spend so much time preparing for getting the perfect little baby home, we don't think about what happens after labor. Oh sure, we know to have the room ready and to have a car seat installed.

The hospital didn't give us an instruction manual. They should have. All babies should come with one. That way when they cry for hours, we know why. Or at least what to try to help them stop. It would have been awesome if someone at the hospital would have mentioned that colicky babies might get relief in a wind-up-swing. Or that a hair dryer running will soothe them at times. Or about the dryer trick where you turn on the clothes dryer and put your baby on top of it in their car seat.

No. I bet the nurses laughed as we walked out the door with our perfect little bundle of joy, ignorant of what the night held for us.

Wouldn't life with a newborn be so much easier if it came with an instruction manual?

Momology 101

I find myself slipping back into my five year old self way too often. There are times when the only thing a mom can do is let go of her adult self and revert back into the girl she once was.

It's ok, you can admit it. We all know it. It's just more fun to be a kid.

Kids aren't inhibited the way adults are. They don't care if the whole store sees them acting like a dragon in the middle of the chip isle while their younger brothers pretend to be race car drivers by making loud car noises.

The t.v. show Friends comes to mind. The episode where Pheobe is running in the park. Here's a reminder just incase you've forgotten. Or if you've never seen it.

It's good to let the inner child out to play sometimes. It keeps us young.

When was the last time you really played with your kids?

Momology 101

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
~Phyllis Diller

My son was maybe one and a half when he got into the diaper cream.

He'd been too quiet (we all know that means trouble) so I was searching for him. Well, I found him alright. In front of the t.v. with what had been a brand new tube of diaper cream. The now empty tube was clutched in one hand and the other hand was smearing thick white cream on the television screen just as fast a his little chubby hand could go. I think he knew his "art" time was limited.

I should mention here that he was standing in it as well. He must have started out finger painting the cream on our brand new dark blue carpet and moved up to the t.v. at some point. He'd done a good job with it. Not only was it on the brand new carpet, it was all over the t.v. screen and it looked like he had taken great care to make sure it got into all of the little speaker holes on the side of the television. It was also in his hair, on his face, squished between his toes and his diaper was hanging on by a string.

I hate to admit it, but my first reaction was anger. I was so mad I could have spit nails. Our brand new carpet was a mess and I was sure the t.v. was ruined. But when he turned around and I got a good look at him, all my anger just faded away. He was so proud of his "art". And honestly, his looks saved him. (You didn't know cuteness was a defense mechanism did you?) His hair was spiked straight up in front with big globs of white goo stuck in here and there. It was his first experience with finger painting. Needless to say he loved it.

It took us a good hour to clean it all up. To this day you can still see a bit of white in some of the little speaker holes on the television. The image of his angelic, smiling face covered in thick, white goop will be with me the rest of my life. It's the little moments that make lifetime memories.

And yes, for those of you wondering, my son still loves to finger paint. :)

Momology 101

Kids will be kids.

When I was a little girl I wanted five girls. Yes, that's right, five girls. I even had names picked out for each of them. (I can still remember each name) Not once did I ever think about having a boy. It just never crossed my mind. I just knew I would have a house full of girls. That my hubby would be the one outnumbered.

Now that I'm a mom of three boys, I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a girl. Oh, yes, I still dream of having a girl. And we did try twice for a girl, but honestly, I'm a boys mom. I have friends that have girls. Have you heard the saying about how in every little girl, there's a full grown woman with attitude and all? (I'm paraphrasing it, I don't remember it word for word) From what I've seen of most little girls, that saying is spot on. Don't get me wrong, little boys are full of attitude too, it just seems to be a different type of attitude. Or maybe it's just that different things set it off.

What I find interesting is how men are more likely to be perceived as being aggressive and competitive and women are viewed as passive and cooperative. It's been my experience that girls tend to be meaner than boys. If a boy is mad at another boy, they might punch them in the arm, but then it's over. If a girl is mad at another girl, not only with she punch her in the arm, she'll kick her when she's down and then get all of her friends to do the same. I don't mean to hate on my own gender, but let's face it...the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is much more accurate.

There's always been a bunch of hoopla over gender typing. And how girls are pushed toward one thing and boys toward another. Whether it be boys to math and science and girls to literature and art or boys to sports and girls to cooking, personally I think that it's all hoopla. The great thing about being human is that we're all different. We didn't come from a cookie cutter mold. If your girl wants to dig in the dirt and climb trees (I did both of these things), then let her. If your boy wants to bake and become a chef, awesome! Maybe he'll cook you dinner when he gets older.

Keep in mind, I'm not an expert. I'm just a mom.

Momology 101

Honesty is the best policy...right?

Kids are brutally honest.

If you ask a kid a question, make sure you really want to know the answer. Kids, in their innocence, will be completely honest with you. Sometimes they impart their honest opinions even when you don't want to hear it.

If you're wearing your favorite jeans that seem to be tighter, don't ask your five year old if they make your rear look big. He's going to say yes.

When you pass someone in the store that looks different in anyway, be prepared for your youngster to point and remark on it. Usually in a loud voice that carries throughout the whole store.

When your older child passes gas in the supermarket, their younger brother will always announce it to everyone near them.

Kids don't realize there are times when honesty isn't quite what someone wants to hear. In the innocence of youth they whole heartedly believe that honesty is the best policy, no matter what the situation. Kids don't yet have the ability to tell you what they think you want to hear.

So, remember this the next time you ask a kid a question. Do you really want to know the truth?

Momology 101

Never say anything around your kids that you don't want them to know.

They will remember it forever.

No, it doesn't matter that they're watching their favorite show, or that they're playing a video game. As soon as you start talking about something you don't want them to hear, the only thing your kids are focused on is what you're saying.

Don't be fooled by the fact they're still doing those other activities. Oh no, I've come to realize that kids are the masters of deception. Cute little master criminals in disguise.

To steal a quote from one of my favorite HP characters(Alastor Moody)..."Constant Vigilance!"